A Day of Love?


I woke up on Tuesday 14th, arising to the melody of a peaceful sound. I set my alarm at eight o’clock but it takes my body to warm up. At least half an hour these days.

I feel so many different things going through my body, as I think about past relationships. How come I had to adjust to the live of a narcissist and lost my complete self?

When I keep my body.

I think I must get better at attracting energy. They come in different forms and my armor of protection might not be as strong as the rejection in my expression. A mouthful, isn’t it?

Wolves come in sheep clothing, bearing gifts to seek out your attention so always look under their nails.


Warming up to the idea of having my life in order makes me birth many rays of confidence. I decided to write my book collection of poems and I to release it before this summer.

There are many things on my list I want to complete but where to start? Shall I do it together or by my own? Will I get the exposure I’ve been hoping for?


Today’s wisdom:


If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world; change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility.


Norman Vincent Peale


I belief my mind has a funny way of creating the days in front of my and if I run fast enough I can reach them. If not, I get lost in the crowd. So hope could be an adjective I hold on to but faith leads the way.


Take a leap of faith!


Love & brightness,




I use to recognize myself,
When I opened my eyes
My reflection changed

Ik vorm een natie met mijn gevoel
De realisatie van aandoeningen, heeft mij
in een smoelgreep
Heeft mij beet in de uitvoering van mijn maskers,
tussen ideeën die mijn visie ontrafelen,
tot een realiteit

Het is een feit, dat de duisternis
mij overheerst
Kleed mij vol tranen
Was mij met stromen van ontkenning

Ik ken mezelf niet
De spiegel een voorbedachte versie van mij
Maakt conversatie met,
mijn alter ego
Dromen bezitten stappen die ik maak

Op de bodem van mijn geheugen,
leven onwaarheden

Mijn waarheid is een leugen
De leugen mijn waarheid
Binnenste buiten

• Avanaisa EmeliJo



So I had a interesting day today, centered around arts, theatre, dance, creative expression and potential in Southeast Amsterdam.

I found it very fundamental that as an artist we have such diverse mindsets and to the outside world, particularly focussed on the hiarchy of most white, rich, close minded, uninclusive cultures..

allot of these artists do not get the chance to express, excel, experience and grow.

Although there in finance…the city councelers fund the theatre, schools or projects that are already doing well and those in a much more general part that need support are being left behind or just used..

I know that one project cannot change the direct problem but I would like to be a pillar that helps to manifest and create a culture were we support and build communities such as Southeast were language and color is such a beautiful dynamic of expression and life..

So let us build and uplift higher!..

Made possible by Slate London in collaboration with creative directors, projectmanagement specifically operating in Amsterdam Southeast.

Please check them out in working towards a more vibrant world of fluent expression through every skin color or cultural genetic.

Higher heights,

Avanaisa Emeli-Jo

To be reserved


Across everything you’ve shown me in knowledge,
I make mistakes. I will never be perfect and cannot claim it to be my profession.

In this system of thought I get lost in a paradox of mental constrict.
Trying to manifest what I need instead of what I want is not always executed in the right way.
Still during this development I’m having allot of diffuculty excepting what I deserve.
Maybe your evolution scared me and I got stuck in the mindset of imperfection.

Because you choose not just to talk,
I decided to try penwomanship.

You were taking me back to the apoptosis of the placenta.
I apologized for my way of approaching a situation that made me feel out of place and you replied in silence.
It had nothing to do with you.
And I did hope it wasn’t the end of the journey we were on but I cannot force the body to speak to the mind if it chooses to rest it’s case.

In my case, the body is not as strong as the mind so negativity takes hold of my whole anatomy.
In the mythical way of how our destiny is I quote,
“Silence speaks sometimes with anger
Sometimes with contemplation
Sometimes with silence”

In this Iniverse of nerves, misconceptions are not always digested.
Most of the time we either run from it or it is converted into a juveneile reaction.

I wanted to send you a gift of peace, hoping you would accept it. But now I am sure you wouldn’t.
I’m sorry’ seems to have no means to communicate so I will have to respect that, you choose to conitue your path without me.

This letter may come to you, it may not. Dearest Gem…

Signed Avanaisa Emeli-Jo

Februari’s Love Letter

Februari’s love letter

I may get to write
I might get to sing
I will get the chance to proclaim my love,
If not here on earth,
somewhere beyond the cosmos of
Venus and mars

I may for a reason kiss the lips,
answering cries
I might fly to another continent
I will eventually die as a mother, or never
having known how it felt to carry a child

I may only have seen the winter in Europe
I might know the difference of the sun from Suriname
I will find it difficult to understand my past in my present

As I recite letters to this woman
Promises about tomorrow may not, might never, will ever been told

* Emeli-Jo Avanaisa
📸 @qmic

@guilla_emelijo_ (ig)


The world is a cycle’

I believe in karma
I believe words have so much power,
The soul is also our shield
It is not up to us to condemn the dreadfull
They will seek recognition from those who have not seen there naked soul

They will fault you about honesty,
when there crimes haven’t been conficted
They will blame you of guilt because the thruth sees through there lies
In there trails you are not genuine because you do not agree with there misconduct

I know about pain
I know about sorrow
I know about betrayel
I know that lucifer was once an angel

People cannot become,
they have will power to want
to appreciate
to have a theraputic joy when they are sincere to you

If there are demons from within, they cannot fight in there dreams,
the enemy in there character will try to harm you

Live for yourself
Be good to others when you can, if you cannot don’t choose evil
Have no expectations, only of yourself
and validation comes from the strength the higher Spirit guides you with

Be your own Hero!

Love & Light,
Sanguilla ”Emeli-Jo

What is Love?

What is Love? October 7th 2017

Love is a promise, never broken.
As a person who has a preference to be alone most of the time I experienced how quiet, quiet can be and at times it can be very lonely. I realized that I have conversations with living things and if I hadn’t listened to them I might just stare.
Yesterday I woke up early and wanted to work on a paper. Within my thoughts I had planned to be productive and take use of the day in a willing way. I got up started writing but somewhere in between I felt my energy getting down.

Although I didn’t want to focus on this feeling. I decided to take a quick nap. A nap that soon turned into a two-hour rest. When I woke up I was not motivated to work on the paper.
I decide to sit by the window to get a different position so I can work better or might have a different outlook on my plan. I got hungry and while I was having dinner I wanted to look at a quick series or maybe a movie. Instead I started watching some music clips.

After about two hours I had chosen to indulge myself with the creative expression of so many other people I had forgotten about my responsibilities.
I tried more and more now to turn of noise that would bring me into distraction.

Silence said;
The thing itself is whatever it is. I see a white bird in a tree shadowing her black feathers.
My eyes rise to the top of a branch and my body lands on the sky.
Can we accept the impact of life?
The meaning of whatever we see or know is in us and how we perceive it.

Continue reading “What is Love?”



Waarom heb je niet meteen aangifte gedaan?
Waarom heb je hem toegang gegeven tot jou lichaam?
Hoe komt het dat hij dagen daarna met die zelfde glimlach, verzonnen uit verhalen van moordenaars, veroordeelden en lafaards jou in de ogen heeft aangekeken?
Heb je dit niet kunnen weten?

Niet bezeten,
Maar gehandeld door weloverwogen “principes” waar hij als zogenaamde vrijheidsstrijder di Afrikye, jullie in verdwaald
Ik heb gefaald
Door te geloven en terug te keren naar een monster die niet kan fungeren in een wereld van mensentaal
Het animale waaruit hij bestaat zijn genen van een andere lafaard en een moeder die volhardend vertaald dat haar zoon niet dezelfde botten breekt die zij heeft ervaren
In haar “jonge” jaren

Mannen die zichzelf vader roepen van een dochter
Nagemaakt bemiddelen voor en zogenaamd Cooking Queen nicht
Vervreemde namen gebruiken die niet in hun paspoort staat
Een gevallen moordenaar die herhaaldelijk vrouwen slaat, mishandeld maar binnen 2 minuten op de grond ligt na een gevecht terwijl hij 4 jaar getrainde superlichtgewichte thaibokser is
Waarvan woorden van Allah en Anana zonder aarzeling zijn bek verlaat

Misschien voor de vrouwen zoals ik te laat
Maar voor de dochters, de vrouwen die uitwijken, harder terug vechten
Zet jezelf centraal en laat geen enkele man met zijn gestoorde familie jou levensweg bepalen!!!


Paragraaf 1. 

Realizing I haven’t found a consistent way if writing I decided to share some poëtry with life

I wrote it in dutch but of course I will translate in English

Paragraaf 1.


wanneer ik niet lezen kan


wanneer t schrijven mij ontnomen wordt


wanneer ik niet weet wat te zeggen


wanneer ik grenzen wil verleggen


wanneer mijn gevoel geen grenzen ziet


wanneer ik zink ik verdriet


waarin alle emoties spreken


waarin ik mijn dag teken


om alles te herleven


over mijn eigen boek

~ Sanguilla ~

Remember me?

Hi soul encounters,

It has been a while since I’ve posted a written piece on my blog. I have been on the train of life and seen many adventures. I wish I could tell all at once time but I divide these moments in seasons.

Today I want to start with a piece I wrote a couple of days ago. It is in Dutch so for those who do not understand set your translation on standby. I would love to convers about it. So, don’t be shy!

Weet je nog
die ene avond?

Je was heel kort bij zinnen
en langzaam kwam je binnen

Onze ogen maakten nauwelijks contact
maar je wist wat je wilde

Je bleef een paar seconden stil
en begon je vingers te gebruiken
begon de diepte in te duiken
vermenigvuldigend tussen geluiden
werd je stijf

Aan de linkerkant van mijn lijf
kon je de jouwe begeven
en ik begon te beven

Ik wist even niet
wat je aanmaakte
toen je mij aanraakte
begon alles te ontknopen
maar ik kon alleen maar hopen
dat je niet op een plek bleef

Wat ik omschreef
toen de essentie van jou dichter kwam
was een voortdurende vlam
dat ik niet kon onthalen
mijn veerkracht was aan t dalen
en jou vingers gingen tekeer

Het was een strijd
die op en neer
op en neer
mij aanstuurde in een verlossende sfeer

Ik hoefde me niet te verzetten
omdat ik wist dat de volgende ronde
mij zou beletten
dichterbij te komen

door de heerlijke geur
zonk ik tussen willekeur
Elke beweging wekte een nieuwe daad
en ik taste het delicaat
over deze verlossing

Weet je nog ?
Je kwam binnen
en inspireerde deze zinnen

~ Sanguilla ~


My first thought today was that I was on a good road and something or actually someone triggered my stagnation. I let this happen to me, that is why I feel the way I feel.

I will not allow people to determine my happiness

I will not allow people to determine my happiness

I will not allow people to determine my happiness!

And I had to repeat this sentence literally a couple of times. I have to be happy, there is nothing else. I dreamed about strange things coming out of my body because I allow people to treat me in many cruel ways and they carry no burdens as they drop it on my doorstep. 

I am the verzel that can give life out of my life for myself. Be happy without needing someone to show me how to. To love myself without feeling the need to share it with a partner. Enjoy my presence and laugh everyday.


– Jack Canfield